The Precious One is Present at all times – I am with you, my Beloved – and you are with me: for I am your little soul – a little son, because you are my Lord who has come in our midst as the Son of my Father – your Father in heaven – the Holy Spirit speaks to us of this Truth – this Way – this Life who brings us into your Present.
We cannot comprehend the Loveliness of God alone – this Lovely Moment in time and eternity when we find the Present One’s Presence that makes this all meaningful, when all the politicians confirm by their selfish actions their own purposelessness. Perhaps, they will prove themselves as purposeless by their selfish acts.
The little soul will pray for them also, for we are told to do so by St. Paul. The Holy Spirit empowers us to Love regardless of the “ungodliness” that “demands” our loyalties – even in the midst of fabrications and platitudes. The little soul signs with sadness. O, dear one, it is in God alone we have our real Being: our realities and purpose are not found at all in the political – only in God alone are we fulfilled in the Person of the Son.
I have written this in the past, a prologue to the present: THE DARKNESS THAT IS LIGHT
Within the soul there is a bright darkness that seems to light up like a lamp that shines at the feet, when walking in the night. It is a darkness that does not trust in our fellow men any longer; but sees the only trust that is possible for us is possible in God alone.
We are never alone; we are never by ourselves; we are not abandoned; and yet, we sense the abandonment of common sense from the midst of our fellow travelers, who wish to forget the law that is written upon the heart.
So many are approaching the Judge in ways that depart from His Way; and the truths are adopted that do not seek the Truth in Jesus alone; and thus, life ebbs away in the darkness, where souls suffer the confusion of knowing not this Light that shines in the darkness.
My little soul dwells in Him who has descended into the dark nights to bring an unworthy soul into mystical union; as He does so many others that seek Him in the fullness of His Love. Yet, this little soul falls so short of this Love that God is in Christ; longing is this little soul for the fullness of this Love that is Perfect Love Manifested in Jesus alone!
It is JESUS who is this Love; JESUS alone that brings the little soul into the desire for union with God alone; union in the Place that is quiet and seeks Him above all the things and sounds of the world system; the Babylon that surrounds; finding in Him alone the quiet rest of knowing to “be still and know that I AM God”.
I read a poem this week and again today by Father John Odermann, OSB, who gave me his collection of writings “Divine Love”; and then gave me verbal permission well before he went Home to be with JESUS a few years ago. I remember the intensity of his Love in relationship with God, when I sat with him in his cell those few years ago at Assumption Abbey. He handed me a very large crucifix we have on the porch of the Motherhouse that he had made and felt led to give it to our little community in Montana. When he died (and went to be with JESUS), I took some small stones and soil from his gravesite at Assumption Abbey (where he is interred); and brought these stones and soil here to rest under the great Rock before the Cross here at the Hermitage.
Father John spoke to me then of his own “hermitage” within when he wrote the “Abandoned Heart”:
I sheltered you as a hand cups itself
Over a wind-threatened flame.
You feared nothing because
I cushioned all the hurt
You could ever encounter.
Then, once, I left you alone;
You never knew sorrow until then.
You called My Name. Your soul tossed like driftwood in angry waters,
“My God, what have I done
That you have abandoned me so?” you cried.
How often have I sensed this in the loneliness wherein I have found that I am not alone any longer; the timeless Presence of my Beloved One that does not leave, nor does He forsake the little soul?
This little one senses Him Present in the darkest moments when all have abandoned his tired and lonely little ship that sails the mind’s oceanic expanse in this fellow less firmament; seeking and then seeing in this darkness the Light that shines quietly when all other lights are extinguished in the senseless societal abandonment of reason, the natural law of God; the great forsaking; an apostasy of the human soul away from the God who is Present.
The emptiness of men brings deepening sorrow, when thinking of the fullness of God in JESUS; a fullness being forsaken by the ships that sail with the little soul on the sea’s expanse.
“It is better for you that I leave,” I told you.
“My absence will teach you
More than My presence.”
You wilted beneath these words crying,
“No, no, You cannot abandon me!”
You led me so close to You that I can’t turn back.
The world holds nothing for me.
Yet I had to stand back
And let My dark night of the soul purge you.
I saw you slowly slump,
Reduced to one phrase:
”I cannot go on. Help me!”
In that moment of complete helplessness,
You felt My absence as deeply
As you had once felt My presence.”
What is this sense that God so Masterfully employs within our souls; souls mystically united to His Love (in His Love) in such abandonment? How is it so – such Grace; such Mercy that brings us such a sense of darkness so desired?
You were now molten metal
That I could shape according to
My Divine Plan for you –
And when I brought you out
Of the dark night of the soul,
You were resplendent silver
That caught every reflection
Of splintered light from Me
And became the light that will diffuse
And brighten the path
For countless others.
God seems to work this way in JESUS who is our Way, Truth and Life; and we cannot understand this working out of what God works within us; moving from mountain tops into the valleys; back to the mountain tops; and then plunging again into the valleys where His still and small Voice is heard like the Voice of the waters that flow within the valleys from the high places where the mountains have received the melting snows.
It does not matter any longer to this little soul that God seems distant so often; for we have gotten used to the distance of the mountain tops that I cannot climb as I used to climb when I was younger.
I am satisfied with this; for I await the wings of eagles that will pick me up from the volcanic slopes of mount Doom; wing that will carry away the little soul to the Place in God alone that will leave the sorrows and failures of this world behind; where men prefer the darkness to the Light that shines in it, showing us the Way in JESUS.
How much the desert has taught me this week.
I wrote far less than I have in the past, because His Presence was carrying the little soul through much darkness; and now He shines in this dark night and brings deep consolations.
There was also a time when I wished for many to come here in live this life of occasional cloistered silence and solitude in the proximity allowed by a eremitical laura on this smaller 12 acre Montana Hermitage; but, I am cautioned to wait upon JESUS for those who are really called to come and live such a life alone with God.
We fail, we have found, only when we make too much haste to fulfill what we think is God’s will; mistaking it for ours. Therefore, we wait upon the LORD to renew our strength; to mount up with wings like the eagles; to run and not be weary; to walk and no longer faint.
JESUS is always near – He is never far away – HE never leaves or forsakes us even unto the end of this age.
Abba Anthony the repentant sinner