Quiet Moment

July 22nd, 2014

(A reflection, following a prayerful reading of Psalm 102, a prayer of the afflicted when he is overwhelmed)


There is a quiet moment that comes in the fabric of space and time –

A silence in this solitude with GOD alone where Jesus is fully “mine.”

We are alone with GOD even in the midst of deepening sorrows and anxieties –

Knowing that GOD is always near to us in our sufferings – His pierced side

And hands and feet are visible – borne for us all – we are the truly destitute

Before Him – and we see the Son alone before our Father – our Substitute –

The One who bore our horrible sins on Calvary – once and for all for sinners –

O, LORD, you alone are same always, and your years shall have no end forever.

We look into the Face of Jesus and have in Jesus that lasting and Quiet Moment

That frees us from our anxieties in time – the deeper Peace – aware of His Presence.


Abba Anthony the repentant sinner


I was thinking also of this,

A silence in this solitude with GOD alone where Jesus is fully the Mind

We have in Him alone with GOD even in the midst of deepening sorrows and anxieties –

Headin’ for the hermitage agin’ Tuesday

July 21st, 2014

Dear soul,

We are privileged in the Grace of God to head to the hermitage of Mary again tomorrow with greatest Joy in Christ Jesus – again prepping for things to come – the new little chapel of St. Antony of Egypt! We are also overseeing some work on adjacent acreage – a work of Joy!

IMG_6036A brief reflection dear one in Christ – Love GOD above all things – prefer Him over anything in this world; whatever the flesh seems to offer of “value” and whatever Babylon’s “false king” offers you or the little soul. We are passing through this world as pilgrims on the Way to Mount Zion – the hermitage within with Jesus is our hidden cloister to walk in GOD Grace – we do not forsake the assembling of ourselves together as the manner is for some, because we know as pilgrims we are part of the Body of Christ – the People of GOD, remembering the exhortations in the Epistle to the Hebrews. We exhort one another to Love and good works, and so much the more as we see the Day approaching!

Walk then as Enoch walked with GOD as was not for GOD took him.

Thus, let us all desire the Desire of the nations – the person of the Beloved Son in whom the Father is well pleased – this is the exhortation of the Holy Spirit in these days wherein we stand and walk with Christ Jesus!

Let us Love Him above all things.

Abba Anthony the repentant sinner

The Quiet Voice of Jesus

July 21st, 2014


The Voice of Jesus is heard in the darkness of this sultry night,

Where little sounds now subtlety call to him – out of sight –

For “illuminated darkness” now surrounds the little soul with his Delight –

It is the Voice he hears – and now, the world sinks beneath His Might.

The pelican is quiet in GOD’s sight – the Spirit beckons him to come

Beside his Savior LORD, who calls this one in Christ to now become

What he never was before – a close encounter that is to some

Pure folly in this world – but that does not matter to this little one.

He is alone with Jesus in this wilderness, which for some is a wasteland

That has no purpose in this world – the emptiness of dust, grass and sand

Cannot be countenanced by those who seek Lot’s more favored ground –

But, that did not last – the populated cites were burned in that ancient land.

GOD speaks with Love and warns the little soul of troubled times –

He hears the words of men and prophets chanting with those chimes

Of time and eternity – the bells are tolling for humanity as it binds

All freedoms to the yokes – of Satan, the flesh and worldly state of mind.

We are not like you, O, world, the flesh and the devil – for we Love our Savior.

We cannot follow you, though you also beckon with sins of varied flavors –

Those things savored by those easily distracted from our Savior who has suffered

For our little soul – O how easily we are tracked away from Him, who is our Savior.

My GOD and my All – the Quiet Rest in Jesus that we have and are in Him

Delivers us from the wretched slavery to our human condition – the mind of sin

That so easily besets us, when we do not recognize the freedom that is in HIM

Who is our Perfect Love that sought us out to bring us into newness of Life in Him.

Ah, dear one, I would sing forever His praises, but I find I do not have the vocabulary

To proclaim of Jesus in the Present – the things as clearly as I ought with others – pray.

Someday, GOD will give the little soul the Voice to pray fully of Him in the Way –

Intended in the Plan of GOD – where a Pelican will have new wings on HIS Light’s Ray.

Until that Day that comes so swiftly, we Rest in Jesus in the desert places where we stay

Close to the Mind of Jesus (the wilderness of Mary with the remnant Seed) and say:

Come quickly Lord Jesus, Come – the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Abba Anthony the repentant sinner


Bread from Heaven

July 20th, 2014

IMG_6052My GOD and my All, feed me with the Bread

That is from Heaven – the Body that Bled

Great drops of the Precious Blood for me

And for all who will come to the Blessed See

Of Holy Jesus – our King, GOD and Sufficient All.


We are pilgrims in this local plain and desert place –

Created in the Image of the One whose Face

Was so marred by sinful men – men who did not know

What they have done to our Lord of Glory – who show

Through ignorance that Love has not yet touched their hearts.


IMG_6053How then, dear Savior must the little soul Live before them

That they might finally through us see intimately Him

Who has Loved us so – so long ago – now Loving still

Through those who have been touched by Him in the still

Quiet of the wilderness, as Jesus walks with the remnant of her Seed?


Live in His Love, then, and see dear soul…


Abba Anthony the repentant sinner

Grace Sufficient

July 20th, 2014

IMG_5388You, GOD – you are my Grace – so Sufficient

For all the needs and desires that come to sit

Beside us – beckoning to my soul as though

You were not really Present – seeing this through

With this little soul – O GOD I am so deficient

In my weakness and my so verily inefficient

Walk with you my GOD and my All – I am the pelican

Of this desert place – Loving from afar – as far as I can

The One so Present with me – in me – all the fabric

Of space and time, wherein I am remade a Fabric

That will last for all time and Eternity in the Son

We Love and worship – our First Love and beloved One!


Abba Anthony the repentant sinner

Redeeming Grace

July 20th, 2014


IMG_5392O the Lovely Dawn of GOD’s Great Grace

That moves the little soul into His Embrace

Of Perfect Love – united with the Son –

The Day’s – new dawning in adoration of the One

Whose Loving Glorious Face I see in all I view –

That Face I see whose Mercy now renews

The little soul in Strength – now His alone

With GOD the Son beside – he now intones:

My GOD is: Holy, Holy, Holy is the LORD of hosts!


Abba Anthony the repentant sinner

The wretched man

July 20th, 2014

IMG_6049O wretched man that I am within –

Marinated it seems in my inward sin –

My nature is all at odds with the One I Love –

A creature of habit that cannot seem to come

As fully as he would in his own weakened strength.

O, dear GOD, How I need your Godly Strength

The Strength that comes in Christ alone –

My heart grows so weary in my GOD alone –

For HIM who came – the Power of GOD’s First Love

With this vessel – the little soul transformed toward Perfect Love.


Abba Anthony the repentant sinner

My yoke is easy – My burden light

July 19th, 2014

(Motherhouse July 19th, 2014)

Walking with GOD alone is not difficult, when we walk according to His Way – it is the holding onto the world, the flesh and the devil that makes us feel the difficulty.  We blame GOD and do not follow GOD, when we believe He is the One causing our difficulties.  GOD does not cause the problems dear soul – we do.  Our “road of ease” is actually the road of greatest difficulty.

We wonder why we do not have power with GOD – why we have become so weak – lacking in Joy – so, why do we try to handle things through the difficulty that we find in our easy ways rather than doing things GOD’s Way?

Dear soul, GOD does not call us to do things “our ways” but to draw close to His WAY.

O, my – what stubborn creatures we have become in our persistence in “our ways” – rather than GOD’s Perfect Way – the Way of Perfect love?

IF we regard iniquity in our heart – the LORD will not hear us.


Dear soul, listen to GOD and LOVE HIM first by following His Way – forsake the wasted time – the self-deceptions.  Learn intimately His Way – forsake your own ways.

Proverbs 3: 5, 6 again – lean not to your own understanding – in all your ways acknowledge HIM…

Abba Anthony the repentant sinner

The Quest for Perfect Love

July 19th, 2014

(Motherhouse in Nashua, Montana July 19th, 2014)

Dear soul, we seek Him who is our Perfect Love – to be perfected in holiness unto Him alone in GOD alone – as we see so much duplicity – so much “please Lord I will Love and follow you – but, O, please do not make me too uncomfortable in my following you in Love!”  O my, we are such half-hearted Christians.  “Please Lord, I will follow you, but please do not make it too inconvenient for me.”

My GOD, I am becoming more and more convinced that without you, I can do nothing!  (St. John’s Gospel, chapter 15)  It is only as we abide (remain) in Jesus our True Vine that we can produce fruits that are His fruits of the Holy Spirit within us.  Without GOD who is our Perfect Love – without Him, dear soul, we are nothing at all – and we fail so easily at the standard of His Majesty.  Whether we want to admit it or not, we many times believe in a form of “easy believe-ism” – a softened “mushy form of faith” that does not want to be too troubled and inconvenienced too much to disturb our comfort levels in following Jesus.

How low it was that our GOD came down to save us sinners and sanctify His children by Grace and through Faith?

He descended to a manger in Bethlehem through a blessed and most holy young woman, the Blessed Virgin Mary, whose Humility in GOD alone knew no boundaries – so Blessed was she amongst women – she said “Yes” to GOD the father and we have the Fruit of her womb, the LORD Jesus Christ!

There is true holiness unto the LORD, dear soul.  She was no “fair weather follower” of GOD!  She and her spouse, Joseph – through great hardship – they humbly followed the will of GOD through the greatest difficulties – unlike them, we too easily want to “give up” and “throw in the towel” – because we “think” that GOD has somehow forsaken us, if we run into a little discomfort?

You see, Perfect LOVE casts out fear, because there is no fear in LOVE.

Dear one, we are all called to examine our self – look into our selfishness and surrender it to Him for His transforming Grace – for only GOD can take this and sanctify it wholly to forget its selfishness and sanctify a soul entirely unto Himself!  Perfect Love casts out fear.

O, GOD, as I examine my own soul more carefully, we see so many flaws – we see the need to go far deeper into GOD alone than the peripheral that we have seen so much of in the self and in so many – we are all so flawed before our Beloved One.

Abba Pastor said: “There are two things that a monk ought to hate above all, for hating them he becomes free from this world.”  The brother asked:  “What are these things?”  The elder replied:  “An easy life and vain glory.”  (from the “Sayings of the Desert Fathers” the Apophthegmata Patrum)

Dear soul, we would do well to remember these things and do them, if we ever wish to progress in the spiritual Life beyond infancy.

May GOD be with you and help all of us – for we are all failures before Him, as we seek ease away from His “ora et labora” – prayer and work.

Again and again, dear one, the little soul is reminded to “Trust in the LORD with all his heart and to not lean to his own understanding – in all of his ways to acknowledge HIM and He will direct our paths.”  (Proverbs 3: 5, 6 paraphrased)

We are always looking for the easy way – rather than the Way, the Truth and the Life whereby we come through Jesus to the Father.

Ponder more upon His Mercy and Humility.

Abba Anthony the repentant sinner

Wondering and Pondering

July 18th, 2014


(Hermitage of Mary in the wilderness, July 18th, 2014)

I often wonder over the wasted time we spend in our overly selfish interests – when you consider how much of the fabric of space and time we spend in thinking only of our selfish concerns – it all seems to be about “me-me-me” more often than about others and their welfare in GOD alone!  I hear the apostle saying:  “O wretched man that I am…” and sense the Mercy of GOD in Son – and I weep thinking of how oblivious we can be at times with our worries – our chatting more and more our words than listening to GOD and others – too interested in saying something, lest we forget what “we need to say” than simply listening – pondering the words within the heart, rather than thinking so much about how we are going to respond!  Words seem so cheap and useless, when we are more interested in what we are saying than what we are hearing!

Dear one – we are such creatures that seem to be more interested in creating more “words-words-words” about “me-me-me” than wondering over and pondering what is the worth of others in the sight and hearing of GOD.  Our little soul has His attention – why are we so disinterested in giving our attention to others?  Selfishness is a word that does not seem to carry much weight with us any longer?

We seek GOD alone in this Silence and this Solitude that He gives to us – a constant unceasing Prayer to our Beloved One – the Prayer of the heart breathes in and out this Divine Mercy – we consider and wonder over His Grace and Ponder His Mercy much – the winds outside the hermitage blow now and they gust here now with their own voice – this is also unceasing Prayer.  We sense our own unworthiness and know that He alone in Worthy.

Abba Anthony the repentant sinner